What's the fascination with twins, triplets or more?

WHAT'S the big deal? What's the point of this blog?

This interesting piece from BBC Online reports on some of the fascination with multiple birth children, especially identical twins.

Here's a snippet:

And in the West twins, triplets and other multiples are a staple of daytime television on shows that are the modern-day take on the freak show.

Is that right? Perhaps. I've never seen Jeremy Kyle all the way through so I couldn't comment. But I know from my days of working with Tamba, that there is still widespread media curiosity in some pretty bizarre aspects of having a twin sibling. I lost count of the weird and wonderful media requests which centred on affairs of the heart, or sex stuff.

Sometimes the scenarios were just possibly dreamt up by over imaginative commissioning editors (d'you reckon?) and I wondered if they would ever find their 'case studies' to fit. But I still think I can understand that better than the following:

Because what does being a twin do to someone? For storytellers, twins represent duality, with one good and one bitter and twisted at having to share. The evil twin is a literary staple, from Romulus, the demi-god who slew his twin brother Remus to secure power in ancient Rome, through to outrageous storylines in soap operas.

This is a much more highbrow stereotype and one that really pisses me off. (Perhaps I should get out more.) What irks is that anyone should make any assumptions about my children, who happen to have been born 10 minutes apart. I'm not saying that complete strangers decide one or other of my daughters must be 'the evil twin' but when they were tiny, I was asked, on a rare occasion or two, which one it was.

Charming. Neither actually, I'd reply - is that so hard to understand?

Okay so that really was a rare happening, but hearing one of your children referred to as 'evil' or 'the devil's child' wasn't particularly pleasant even if it wasn't every day.

But as for the very common instances of complete strangers asking me the most personal questions about how my kids were conceived - as they passed me by on the street. Don't get me started. ( I had sex with the man I love if you must know.)

Don't, for example, think of exerting any energy on trying to help me huff and puff my way through the door with my double buggy. No, don't put yourself out. Why not stand there laughing and pointing instead? Chuck in a few stupid questions. You know you want to.

I know, why not ask me: "Are they twins?" Never heard that one before. Or perhaps you could remark, as my face gets redder and I think of swearing with the frustration/weight of the changing bag: 'You've got your hands full.' No shit Sherlock.

Keith Reed from Tamba agrees that twins and other multiples are still unusual enough to give complete strangers licence to ask the most personal of questions.

He told the BBC: "Twins are not uncommon, and yet people still react somewhat strangely towards them. The reserved British population seems to think they have the right to ask people how they conceived if they have got twins, which is something you would never dream of asking anyone else who is pregnant."

I find it a real pity that is where our attention goes when it comes to twins and multiple births. Still we put up with the intrusion, the careless comments and the downright noseyness.

Some people mean well, of course they do. Who could object to someone telling you in the middle of Asda that their children are beautiful? I might even admit to missing that now my girls are older.

But does that make up for the other stuff? I don't think so, no.

And when parents of twins, triplets and more are still faced with more financial pressures, less media awareness about their needs, a greater chance of post natal depression or relationship breakdown, I'd just like to see that recognised a bit more.

That's why this blog is here. We know we get at least twice the good stuff too, but we hope that information here can help support parents and show they are not alone when faced with the challenges of bringing up more than one child of the same age.

Let us know what you think and do let us know what you would like to see covered on You've Got Your Hands Full. We love to hear your suggestions and constructive feedback.

Comments

[Amber]

I'm not a twin, obviously, but I think my mum would relate to a lot of your frustrations, Linda, having had to put up with the same kind of stupid comments about my red hair when I was young (because every new mother wants to be told her child is ugly, obviously!). It's so strange the way people think anyone even slightly "out of the ordinary" is fair game to be commented on, sometimes in the most tacless of ways.

[Linda]

Hi Amber, yeah - and as you know those stupid comments from adults can turn into something nastier when ignorant parents pass on their lack of understanding to their children. My nephew who has red hair moved schools because he was picked on so much. He has been beaten up about it too, he sometimes dyes it now to avoid the hassle. God love him, he's turned into a goth. (Possibly not the best move to avoid being picked on...!)

[Twinfunmomma]

Great to have you back - where you been?

[Linda]

Hello Twinfunmomma

Loving the name, I have been around but busy with family and work stuff, I'm finding my blogging mojo or whatever it's called though so brace yourself.

[Talia]

Hi. thank you for this blog!!!! I used to read you quite a lot but then I haven't been around in later days. I've always lurked and not commented before. It's good to see you here again, I'm looking forward to seeing the stories you bring us. I have twin boys who are nearly three. they are a real hand full and keep me on my toes. I sometimes think I could sleep for a week.

[Swistle]

I do understand it, I think because I'm always fascinated with twins and multiples, too. (Though of course not in the "one twin is good! one twin is evil!" crazy-cakes way.) Having twins myself doesn't seem to have lessened it for me much, although I do roll my eyes at questions about whether my boy-girl twins are identical. I think a lot of people say dumb stuff because they're so interested they want to somehow engage in conversation---but can't think of anything! So they blurt, and THAT never goes well!

[Linda]

I hear ya Swistle! Me too, me too.

[Lexi]

I can so relate to this story. Here is a blog I wrote about the ridiculous things people have said to my husband and I about our triplets.

http://svmomblog.typepad.com/la_moms_blog/2008/11/things-people-s.html