LAST week I was offered an assignment that takes me to America for five days.
To say I was excited as you can imagine, would be an understatement as it came out of the blue. But it also took me a nano second to think 'hang on, it means leaving my family' - and I haven't done that yet.
My daughters are 10. I have taken the job but still part of me was stressing about leaving them - simply because I'll miss them.
I know it's only five days and some of you will think this is pathetic, but everything I have done work-wise in the last 10 years has been based around what fits around my family - this is a new step for me.
I have avoided applying for or pitching anything that would take me away from them and the few travel pieces I have written have included them!
It's even more ridiculous when you consider they set off to Paris with the school last night. It hasn't occured to anyone I have discussed this with that this would even be an issue - and of course it isn't a major one, I'm certainly not complaining and am very thankful to be offered such an opportunity.
I have told them I'm going and they aren't exactly bowled over by the prospect but they haven't really got one on them about it. And part of the assigment could include writing about leaving them too.
Mums I have dicussed this with so far, have offered the following points:
As long as you have your childcare in place it should be fine.You will all miss each other of course, but it really isn't very long. It's great news, and the girls are plenty old enough to understand that it's a fab opportunity. Am sure you will enjoy.
You will probably love the freedom.
Sometimes, you just have to do something for yourself... and if I can do it, I am sure that you can.
My advice is to grab the opportunity with both hands... you and your children can reap the benefits when you return.
I think at 10 they'll be fine and you'll be fine too. I don't think it's pathetic to miss your children. Much as mine annoy me 24 hours a day, I miss them on the odd occasions they aren't there.
At the moment I don't do or go anywhere that involves me leaving my youngest who at 21 months wouldn't cope very well. This included turning down a free week in Mexico at my partner's company's expense last month (then having to listen to my stupid inlaws criticisms about how stupid I was not to go as they regularly used to ditch their kids for weeks and weeks on end in the care of virtual strangers).
Anyway, point is, you may be agonising over it but they are old enough to cope and you are wise enough to ensure they have good care and know exactly what to expect for the few days. Have a fab time!
The Jesuits have a saying along the lines of give them a child till seven and they'll give back the man. Your young girls are 10 now and must realise that their mother has always been there for them, so I hugely doubt they will feel abandoned. Your guilt on the other hand may be so entrenched it will be harder to lose.
Women are ruled by guilt most of the time, don't you think? I feel guilty for going to work sometimes!
I hope this wonderfully supportive reassurance may also help others in the same position.
I know it's not a hardship, but it's good to know you are doing the right thing!
I thought I was stupid feeling like this, but it'll definitely be an issue, I feel better that we're all in the same boat. Erin's only three and I've only been away from her for 36 hours before. I'm a stay at home mum too, I'm hoping it will be a positive (if not completely pleasant)experience for her.
Posted by: Erica | April 16, 2009 at 10:38 AM
Hi Erica, of course it's not stupid. I really hope we have a fantastic time and that you can relax and enjoy it. xx
Posted by: Linda | April 18, 2009 at 01:01 PM
I can't quite decide how I feel. The longest I've ever spent apart from them is 2 nights.
They'll be at school/pre school and the childminder as normal through the week. Because the husband works from home it won't feel any different to them in regards to him being around. I'll just be missing!
It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, looking at the schedule there won't be any time left for missing anyone!
Posted by: Laura Driver | April 18, 2009 at 05:18 PM
Hiya Laura,
My two have just come back from a school trip which was for five days - their first ever and they've had a great time. I do think it's easier for me as they are older. They are deifinitely not that impressed that I'm going but at the age of 10, it can't be that bad for them. I'm hoping that as soon as we hit the Gatwick Hilton bar, we'll be okay. xx
Posted by: Linda | April 18, 2009 at 05:32 PM
I might even get the first round in - I'll be so exhausted with arranging everything by then I think I'll deserve a drink!! x
Posted by: English Mum | April 18, 2009 at 06:42 PM
Hello Gorgeous English Mum, you'll deserve more than one and so will I (*evil cackle*.)
Posted by: Linda | April 18, 2009 at 09:59 PM
I think you (and they) will be fine. No guilt necessary!
I must say though, I'm quite confused about why this company wants mums to review Disney *without* their kids there. Is it because they want the perspective of people who go there without children? Is it because they couldn't afford to fly the whole family out? Or is it something else entirely? Just trying to wrap my head round how one could properly review Disneyworld without their kids there. *scratches head*
Posted by: Noble Savage | April 27, 2009 at 02:17 PM