Owning up about binge eating

ONE of the reasons I wanted to carry on blogging here now and again, even though the twins 'mojo' has upped and left was so that I could bring together some of my other chief concerns when I felt like it. And for the last 20 years or so, losing weight has been right up there.

I did have a blog called How did I get this fat? Exactly 12 months ago, I was merrily crowing about how I was on the right road to a slimmer fitter me. Except I'm still not there. I'm still overweight and I'm still keeping on, keeping on.

Today there's a bloody great picture of me peeking out of a bush in The Express as I chronicle my binge eating. I've been touched and chuffed by the feedback and kind words of encouragement that have winged my way since this was published this morning. So thank you to everyone who has taken the time to tell me what they thought.

For me, a blog is also a place where you can tell a fuller story than appears in the paper so I also wanted to flag up where anyone wanting support could get help. I also like to pull together comments I have had - so that when someone else in a similar position searches online for anything related, they can see they are not alone. That's a very simplistic notion but still very important too, I reckon. So if you have been kind enough to leave a comment on Facebook or Twitter don't be surprised to see it appear under this post!

The nutritionist who helped me was Lyndel Costain. I went to see her after interviewing her for some pieces about how to lose weight and keep it off for the NHS website and realised I was exactly the sort of person her comments referred to.

There's also a national charity called Beat. I've not been in touch with them but they talk a lot of sense. In this piece, for example, they shed light on how many people have eating disorders.

So please, if you can identify with what I have written in the piece published today, please get some help and be kinder to yourself. Now I'm going away to try and take my own advice...

Comments

[Julie]

Just read your piece. Was really really touched by it.
It came across as positive and upbeat and really inspiring, and its
so nice to hear someone being so honest about binge-eating, must
have been really difficult for you to write with such frankness.

[Fi]

Well done for sharing your story - nice to know I'm not the only one! And I know many others too. Good luck with the houmous.

[Writer]

hello - just wanted to say thank you for the express piece - it's really brave.
I also wanted to say how much I sympathise and understand what it's like. I've struggled with bulimia since I was 12 and am still fighting it. It's exactly what you go through by the sound of it, only without the throwing up. But I have had periods of binge eating without vomiting too and I think those have been the worst parts of it - gaining the weight makes one feel so terrible. So I know how hard it is.
If you ever want to share, I'd be happy to!
The things I find help are my husband's support (in a practical way) and meditation, though am not good at sticking to either thing..

[Rachael]

Awww Linda that brought a tear to my eye - bless you for sharing your story xx

[Alison]

Wonderful piece of writing Linda ...hope things are going well for you. Keep smiling :)

[EnglishMum]

Amazing article. Made me cry just a teensy bit...

[James]

A brilliant read Linda, Ive been there and relate to so much of this,i managed to lose alot..so much my mum uses me as her coach now!

[Nina]

Utterly brilliant and very brave. Just remember you can achieve anything when you set your mind to it. Be happy

[Dan]

Honest, moving piece Linda. Thanks. Good luck ... stay strong!

[Lyndel]

Thanks very much for the article and kind mentions - you are a great writer, and courageous. Ups and downs are normal, esp when you challenge the status quo - as I am sure you know... just not always easy to deal with!

Best of all is the progress and optimism you convey. Really do hope you are in a better place. Great that family and business all fab too.

[Tara@Sticky Fingers]

Wow Linda. I'm better there are a whole heck of a lot of people who could relate to every single thing you've written here.
Absolutely fabo piece and this sort of public accountability helps you then I'll be here on the sidelines cheering you on. x

[Linda]

Thanks again to everyone.

@ Tara Sadly public accountability does nothing for me - my 'diet column' in the Express & Star many moons ago was a complete disaster - put a stone and half on while I was writing it. :)

[notSupermum]

Linda, what a brilliantly brave post to do. The Express article was something I could identify with - I'm too ashamed to admit some of the gorging I've done in the past.

Thanks. Btw, I've just got the best diet incentive - a dog! I've lost 3 pounds this week just from walking the dog, amazing. I haven't changed my diet, that's just from the exercise!

[Linda]

Hi notSupermum, lovely to see you round these parts - thank you so much for your kind words, I don't think I'm particularly brave to write about this, as there are much braver things I could be doing! You only have to look at me to see food is an "issue" and writing the piece that went in the paper was quite a cathartic experience as you can imagine.

On the subject of dogs - I want one! It's my ambition actually - to get a dog and be able to be at home with it! But we are always here there and everywhere and I didn't think this was fair really. Plus our house is too small, I think.

Well done on the 3lbs - sounds great, I daren't go near the scales at the moment!

[Dulwich Divorcee]

You never cease to amaze me, Linda - brilliant, honest writing as ever and brings a tear to my eye xx

[Linda]

Thank you you know that means a lot coming from one as talented and gorgeous as you. xx

[Jane]

Linda, that story was wonderful, so honest and I can relate to it totally - thankyou x

[AMF]

Good for you Linda,and lots of support from here in your weight struggle - and either way (weigh... ho ho) it's YOU that counts - not whether you are a size 10/12/16/18/20 etc.. We all think you're ace.
I think it's about time you started believing how ace you are.

[A Binge Eater]

Linda, what an amazing piece. You could be describing my life. I'm successful in every aspect of my life, apart from the control of eating. I asked for help from my GP in March. I've had a nurse assessment and I see a consultant psychologist next week. I am hoping to receive counselling at the eating disorders clinic.
So brave of you to admit to this secretive habit x

[Linda]

Hello B. E

Thank you for commenting and good luck with everything - I hope you can see the support I have had after writing this. I'm surrounded by people who love me, who see me for much more than the size of my arse. But most importantly, I have realised that I need to stop being so hard on myself. I'm only pointing out these things as I'd be willing to bet, each of those three points applies to you too. Please keep in touch, I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you can get as far as you want to go, one step at a time. I hope we can both 'go public' with our own success stories one day! Much love to you. xx

[Jo Beaufoix]

Brilliant post hon. I can relate to a lot of this. I was bulimic from age 13 and binged as well. I still struggle with food now and am battling with gaining control of my health. I have had counselling and the best thing for me is that it helped me understand where my behaviour came from and also taught me to be nicer to me. We're on the same journey lovely, so anytime you need a winge or want to shout, 'blimey look at what I did, I'm amazing' then I'm here. xx

[Insomnioac Mummy]

Thanks for sharing something so personal in such an honest way.

I struggled with bulimia in my late teens and early 20's. If I'm honest, I still have the occasional relapse, maybe once a year these days.

I am trying to see myself in a more positive light but the mirror is not kind. I need to fix that mind set.

Thanks again. You have made me think.

[Platespinner]

Linda, I just read your Express article and I wanted to say what an excellent piece of writing it is. Your honesty does make a difference to a lot of people who are in a similar situation.

It can get better. I was hospitalised for anorexia/bulimia and depression in my teens and it took me a long time to recover. However, I would consider myself to be fully recovered from the eating disorder now, although I do still have bouts of depression. The epxerience of pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding has helped me to learn to respect and love my body for the amazing things it can do.

Two books which have helped me see things in a different light are 'Fat is a feminist issue' and Naomi Wolf's 'The Beauty Myth.'

You have also made me think and I will write about this a little more.

[Platespinner]

Linda, I've been thinking about this a bit more and have blogged about it. I linked to your post, hope that's ok. http://mummywriter.blogspot.com/2009/08/meaning-of-beauty-learning-to-love-my.html

[Natalie]

Found your post via BMB. I think it's wonderful that you are being open and honest - that in itself must be freeing and I'm sure you have helped other women too as we can often feel alone with our problems.

[Linda]

Hi Natalie - thank you - your site looks great by the way.