Three 'embarrassing mum' moments - what are yours?

PARENTS are supposed to embarrass their children. It's the law.

Here are some of my "mum crimes" so far - that I'm willing to admit to anyway. Why not share yours too? Would love to read them - would make me feel better for a start...

1.Whatever you do, don't bend over again

When my daughters were tiny, people used to stare. A lot. We got used to it as twins often attract attention. Most meant well, even if sometimes the comments got a bit much.

That's why when fellow customers in a department store's coffee shop seemed transfixed and a bit perturbed as they looked in our direction, I didn't bat an eyelid.

I smiled back. How sweet that so many onlookers were clocking my gorgeous babies.

It wasn't until I got up to leave that I could see they were clocking something else entirely. In between warming up milk, bottle feeding my girls and cleaning them up afterwards, I'd failed to notice my skirt and tangled underwear were somehow stuck in the gusset of my tights. Bending over in said feeding maneouvres was giving diners an unmistakable view. Quite cheeky some people would call it for sure.

I still can't listen to The Waterboys' Whole of the Moon without smiling at the memory. 

2. A bit late with the costumes, Mum

Isn't it fun when teachers ask your little cherubs to dress up - as say their favourite book characters or someone from a far-flung shore? 

But they don't always give you enough notice do they? In my daughters' nursery class they had a smashing Teddy Bears' Picnic event but we couldn't go. 

So when it came around the next year I was determined to pull out all the stops. They both went into school in their pyjamas, with their favourite toy furry friends.

Only thing was nobody else did. Thanks somehow to the clutter in our kitchen, I'd read a letter that was 12 months old and no such party was being held that year.

Their blushes at least were spared when I faced up to my cock-up on the school playground that morning.

But I've never lived it down. I still can't listen to If you go down to the woods today, without wincing.

3. Hot stuff, but not in a good way

Once when a friend of my daughters came to tea, I set a tea towel ablaze when I put it on a lighted gas ring.

It doesn't sound much of a gaffe does it? But this little girl apparently tells on me every time the teacher asks pupils *anything* about their parents.

Either one of my daughters says something about what they've doing that weekend and up goes the hand: "Yeah but your mum started a fire that time I came for tea."

I still can't listen to Twisted Firestarter without whimpering pathetically.

* Asked what I'd done that was embarrassing, Emily just said: "You fall over a lot." We laughed remembering me landing with a massive thump in a ditch in the Lake District when I tried to jump across it.

Then there was the time I took a dramatic tumble on holiday in Wales and a woman  helped pull me up off the pavement. She said she didn't try to catch me and stop my fall as she "thought I was playing frisbee."  Thanks love.

So over to you - please let me know I'm not alone in these ridiculous feats of incompetence (and wobbling) . Oh go on.

Comments

[Josie @Sleep is for the Weak]

Without a doubt - learning to breastfeed in front of my father in law.

Breasts, nipples, squirting milk. Everywhere.

In the end I just put a blanket over mine and Kai's heads and hid and cried.

Love yours. Please can I come to tea?
xx

[Linda]

Oh my God, Josie! And thank you - would love you and Kai to come to tea, do you like Kentucky Fried Chicken?

[snapdragonjane]

Looking after two 3 yr olds in changing rooms after swimming in posh Glasgow suburb - a helpful adult held the main changing room door open for one who promptly headed for the car park leaving me in cubicle.
I had no option but pursue toddler dressed in half a bra and knickers - full view of main road.
Never went back to that pool.

[Kat]

A few days after I gave birth to my daughter I got a knock on our front door. It was our neighbor from across the street. I noticed he kept staring at my shirt as we were talking. Apparently my breasts had been leaking and I looked like I was about to enter a wet t-shirt contest.

[Emma Tate]

a naked littl'un having a poo in the garden right in front of the neighbours...

[Not such a yummy mummy]

We went for a meal when Sam was about 6 months old. I'd dressed up so wasn't wearing a breastfeeding bra or top. When Sam needed to be fed I had to pull my boob right out of my top & bra. I put a blanket over us to protect my modesty & to be discreet in front of a packed restaurant.
A young waiter, no more that 17 walked past with a trolley. The trolley dragged the blanket off, I was fully exposed & Sam pulled away to giggle. Full boob exposure. Could. Have. Died. As could the young waiter I think. And my Dad.

[Rosie Scribble]

My most embarrassing moment was when I completely forget that it was World Book Day and was THE ONLY PARENT who sent my child into school wearing her school uniform. The rest wore elaborate costumes. That will never be forgotten!

[Linda]

Oh my these are corkers! So many boobs, great mental image...
Rosie, I know that sort of thing will haunt you forever!

[Insomniac Mummy]

Supermarket shopping, Big E in trolley. He reaches up, pulls down the front of my top flashing my bra and announces, proudly and at the top of his voice, "Mummy's booooobiiiieees."

Three times, this has happened. Three times.

I fear someone may have gone blind.

:)

[Jo Beaufoix]

OMG there are so many. From my wearing odd shoes when taking the gilrs to school, to Miss M accusing women of being men, announcing loudly that I had done a 'smewy' poo in public toilets, Miss E then age 2 telling a man not to talk with his mouth full at a Pizza Hutt, and me sniffing Miss M's baby butt to check her nappy and having her fart in my face in front of a staff room full of teachers at my old work. Oh the joy of kids. :D

[Linda]

Insomniac Mummy - sounds lovely stuff. Jo, euuuuwww.

[Christie]

The postman knocked on my door to deliver registered mail that I had to have. Unfortunately my bub was breastfeeding before going to sleep, she was half asleep and would not unlatch for anything. Well, not until after I had answered the door. Postman was greeted with a real surprise that day!

[Jen & The Amazing Trips]

I have an embarrassing moment every day. But these are the first three that pop to mind:

1) Taking my 18-month old triplets to their first "outdoor" playdate with a group of neighborhood women. In each of my arms, I held a child, the third - who was feeling particularly clingy - grabbed at my waist and fell down. Pulling my drawstring pants with him. So there I was, in my undies at my first and last, neighborhood play date.

2) Going to the grocery store with my two-year-old triplets, while 7-months pregnant with my fourth child, and realizing while standing in the checkout line that I still had on my pajama bottoms.

3) Last week, I took my 5-year old triplets to basketball practice and my children, unbeknown to me, told some of the other parents that they each had a different FATHER. And then, they pointed out the various men playing on the opposite court while saying, "That one's MY Daddy. That one's HER Daddy. That one's HIS Daddy."

I keep thinking it will get easier. One day, I'm sure it will. Until then, thank God my sense of humor is intact.

[Conrad22Paulette]

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