A bit of a cock up on the parenting front

LAST week, I was the featured 'favourite mummy blogger' on MyChild.

One question asked was "What is your most overused parenting expression?"

As I told Emily I'd been interviewed, I quizzed her on what she thought my answer was.

She said: "Is it dickhead?"

I protested that I never said such a thing.

"You do when you are driving," she told me, laughing.

It reminded me of the time my friend Alison rang me, distraught after I'd looked after her son for the day.

She said she'd reprimanded her three-year-old for calling someone 'stupid'.

"We don't say people are stupid, that's not a very nice thing to say," Alison had pointed out.

"And neither is for fuck's sake," her son replied.

Of course I got the blame. Done up like a kipper.

At our most recent birthday bash, one little girl was in my car and I said: "You haven't been in here before, have you sweetheart?"

She said: "Oh yes, you told me to shit the door."

Instead of glossing over this most regrettable of episodes, we spent the rest of the journey creased up at the possibilities for mental images conjured up. This is evidently pretty entertaining when you are 11.

Mums are supposed to say 'There, there...and Goodness me...' not unleash an expletive-filled road rage rant or widen the vocabulary of friends' children with corkers they'd rather they never heard. Aren't they?

I know swearing is not big and it's not clever. If I do hear my girls letting rip with a rude word or two, I will always point out the error of their ways.

But still, I have been known to swear just a little bit in front of my daughters and (the horror) their little friends  - just like my mum did in front of me.

If my daughters were to swear they are told off in a definite case of 'do as I say, not as I do'. I'm fully aware of the hypocrisy of the situation.

But I guess, in the scheme of things, I can't believe it matters all that much - certainly not as much as loving them and doing the best I can for them, even if I'm the one who needs to wash her mouth out with soap.

Also, my mum is worse, I promise. And I turned out okay, didn't I.... ?

By the way, if anyone wants to disagree with me, they can sod right off.*

* Oh you know what I mean.

Comments

[Keren David]

So glad it's not just me...

[little dudes mummy]

Oh I *so* far this could be my future!
I try so hard, but somtims they just pop out!!

[Dan]

I swear quite a bit.

I don't actually mind my kids swearing either (or at least a few "shits"if used in appropriate context)

I go absolutely mad if I hear them use "stupid" to describe other people though.

[Emily T]

I once spent one frustrating evening blowing up balloons for my daughter's birthday party the next day. They kept bursting and drove me bonkers.

In the morning my little girl, age 3, came downstairs and said: "Lovely bloody balloons." Haha!

[Rosie Scribble]

I'll be perfectly frank. My 6-year-old has been throwing the word 'shit' round recently. She has no idea what it means and is applying it to alnmost anything. There is only one adult in this house. It can only have come from me. And I am always so polite!

[TheMadHouse]

We dont say stupid, we say silly. It is a pet hate of mine!! The thing is when MaxiMad says a "bad" word it is always in context!! Although hearing them say "For pitys sake mummy", which it what we say instead of FFS!!

[Carol]

I can't believe you weren't ashamed when she said that :) I would be mortified. I go mad when my boys say things not half as bad, I think my mum was a lot more strict.

[Linda]

Hi everyone - thanks for commenting. Keren - yes I am finding it is more common than I thought - am sort of glad to have hit a bit of a nerve! :)

LDM - yep, the harder I try, the more it seems to happen.

RS - that is disgusting, I hope you are sutably chastised.

Dan and TheMadHouse -yes I'm with you - if mine were ever to be so thoughtless, I'd tell 'em to shut the *&^% up - not really but you get my gist!

Carol - I know and I love you.

[peggy]

I swear ... a lot of f**k and bo***cks.
Funny enough, swearing comes easily in English but not so much in French. Actually I don't swear at all in French... do you think I can find out why in therapy? :) love the post!

[Nixdminx]

I couldn't help laughing when I read this. From your tweet I was expecting some dreadful f***ing sh***y survey published by the NSPNP (National Society of Prevention to Niceness to Parents) - what a relief x

[Linda]

Hey Peggy is now a good time to say I have taught my daughters to swear in as many languages as I can manage? This doesn't mean I speak them all, just that we looked it up! That said I do know some belters. x

[Linda]

Hi Nixdminx - thanks... was considering finishing the post at "dickhead"...as this made me laugh...but thought I'd better explain some more in case anyone came after me!

[Nick]

That is priceless!!! They say that children seldom mis-quote you - in fact, they usually repeat, word for word, anything that you shouldn't have said!!

[Becky]

Remember our giggling over the use of "fanny" in headlines over here? Yeah, well. "Cock" is one word we probably wouldn't use over here, even if we WERE talking about a rooster. /giggle

[Cathy]

Oh Linda that's hilarious! I've just snorted so loudly my husband came in from the next room to see why.

[Judy]

I'm laughing out loud, Linda!

[Claire]

It's the other way round for us, my son teaches me words I've never heard of, not sure if he understands them or not...

[Grace]

Amazingly my daughters REFUSE to swear. although i do often, and had them both saying 'Bugger!' whenever they dropped something at the age of 2!
now at age 7 however, they will NOT swear.
we always tell them (whenever they reprimand us for rude word usage) that until they have a better command and understanding of the English language then yes, swearing is silly and naughty... but that once you know its complexities, expressing oneself with whatever words one wants is FINE!
still my daughter loves the Lily Allen song 'fuck you', but calls it, and even sings, "F. U. C. K. you..."
as i see it, my mum rarely swore herself and always made a big deal of me swearing, and now i swear like a trooper, yet i curse with impunity, and now my own children would rather say "woops a daisy!" than "bugger!"... i think swearing is funny... and it can even be clever. just make sure you can do it WELL! ;)

[SingleParentDad]

As you know I am over six foot, but you may not know that I have a GCSE in Art, therefore I reckon, when I swear, it is big and clever.

[Linda]

Do you have big hands?

[Karen]

Just wait it gets worse. My children (21, 19 and 16) now say words and especially initials, that I have no idea what they mean.I thought I knew most words, even though I don't often use them, but it seems as if I'm out of date.

[Maja]

I'm still surprised that the first words uttered by my two weren't 'for fuck's sake'...

[Jennifer Howze]

I'm constantly letting a "f*ck" or "sh*t" slip. the other day while driving i called someone an idiot and both my 10-year-old and 5-year-old said, "That's not nice to call someone a name." I said, yes, but that person was acting in a very stupid way." But, well, he WAS!

[Linda]

Hi JH, could have been worse, could have been...well I won't say!
Someone somewhere must be being very disapproving but I am prettyr relieved that other parents are as foul-mouthed as me...

[Brit In Bosnia]

Mine are now swearing in Bosnian (so obviously didn't get that from me) and I have no idea what they are saying. I'm planning to keep it this way.