Split personalities? How does your online character differ from your 'real' one?

I SOMETIMES wonder what people reading this blog must make of me.

I don't think about it much of course. That would be well sad.

As it has touched on overeating and depression, I smile to myself at the thought of readers thinking of a miserable fat bird.

Because it has featured short stories with lots of rude words, I worry that I'm going to cause offence.

While it doesn't talk about work much, I wonder if it should. In real life, I do, some some would say far too much. Should I whip off a mask of friendly 'mumsiness' to reveal the stressed out businesswoman behind it?

I could make like Mike Yarwood and do a little tap dance in a lounge suit and dickie bow as I belt out: "And this is me" at the end of each post.

Nor, despite being earmarked as a 'mummyblog' does it include lots of stuff about my children - inevitably a subject I chunter on about in real life ad nauseum.

Most of all I'd say that online, well apart from the tales of overeating and depression, I have somehow managed to foster a more positive presence than I am in real life.

Off I go, commenting on other people's blogs, telling them to take it easy, recognise their achievements, have a rest, love is all that matters, or whatever.

In real life at this moment I may just be the one requesting a sick bag.

And God help us if there's a knock at the door while I'm broadcasting these unremittingly positive messages.

If it's a salesman asking about my phone bill he soon finds out that when not at a computer keyboard I can be far from warm and fluffy.

Yet I still think it paints a fair picture of me - a 40-something mother, sometimes saying the wrong thing, sometimes overwhelmed, but most of all just doing the best she can.

How about you?

Comments

[Insomniac Mummy]

Good question.

I think I'm pretty much a heart on my sleeve kinda girl.

Actually I have no idea how I'm percieved which is probably a good thing!

:)

[Josie @Sleep is for the Weak]

I hope you are like your bloggy persona cause I love her!

I hope that with me it's a case of 'what you read is what you get' too but with a couple of exceptions:

I write with more energy than I have in real life and I appear far more confident and self-assured than I actually am.

The main appeal with blogging is that I can fake those two things ;) I can be shattered but I can still write as if I was full of beans. I can be the most insecure, self-deprecating wobble-prone fool and no-one need know.

I like this. A lot.

Keep being you please :) And don't be afraid to show the scary side sometimes cause I bet we'll still think you're ace x

[Rosie Scribble]

I seem to remember only yesterday telling a certain person to relax, take it easy etc etc where here I am not taking my own advice!!

I don't think you are hiding behind a mask. I have read the majority of your posts (although I may not have commented) and I think you have been incredibly honest and 'real'. It IS a real life blog about someone just trying to do their best, like the rest of us. I'd like to hope my blog is the same, not as well written of course and full of grammatical errors. I've blogged about depression, eating issues, the ups and downs of life, the odd fantasy!! I'm just being me. That is how your blog comes across too and that is why so many of us come back for more.

Chin up, deep breathe, keep going. Hugs.

[Heather]

i don't know if it possoble without momentous effort to be someone other than who you really are when blogging. And frankly, who could deal with the pressure? I do find myself saying things in comments to other peoples that i would probably never say in real life tho...be they good or bad.

[Linda]

Hello IM - I think we all are, most likely! :)

Hi Josie - wahay that is a very nice thing to say....and if I can revert back to my very positive lady type persona what I would say is that the confidence and compliments your blog brings you really should spill over into real life, you don't have to fake anything when you can write like that.

Hi Rosie - thanks a million, I do feel like I need those hugs today. And of course your blog is as well written, chunter, chunter. Loving the fantasy post as you know! Probably sparked this one if I'm honest - * goes away and stresses that haven't put a link in* . xx

[Linda]

Hi Heather - thanks for commenting! I think you're right - I suppose part of us could always think 'what's so interesting about me?' - well some seem to get over this quicker than others. Arf.

[notSupermum]

Linda, you come across (to me at least) as an intelligent, warm, searingly honest woman who has *lived*. I'd like to think if we met in real life we would get on well, but I'm not sure if you'll think that a good or a bad thing!

I haven't met many bloggers in real life, so I'm not sure if my online personality is at odds with my real one. Of course, in the online version of me I'm much better looking, slimmer and extremely sexy. In real life.....well, never mind.

[Very Bored Housewife]

I've never thought of you as a miserable fat bird, may start doing now though (only kidding), you come across as an intelligent, well rounded woman living life with all it's ups and downs and telling it like it is.

I started my blog hoping to be funny, quirky and vaguely intelligent, sadly life got in the way of all that and it's ended up going in a completely different direction. In real life am I much less likely to tell you even a quarter of the stuff that I can put in my blog, although I am much more likely to swear. Aside from that I'd like to think it's the 'real' me.

[Emily O]

Your blog has lots of personality and that must be because you write as you. I wouldn't worry about being nice on your blog, if you get angry and fed up do that too. Readers can identify with it. My blog persona is exactly as I am in real life. I did try one a few years ago as a different persona because I was nervous about putting 'myself' out in the blogosphere. But it didn't work as it felt forced and unnatural. It got deleted. Like Insomniac Mummy I don't know what people think of my personality but that's like 'real life' anyway. I think most of the popular blogs are written by honest and open bloggers who are themselves (at least I hope they are and it's not all an act!).

[Claire Curran (20 something mum) via BritishMummyBloggers]

I'm more outspoken and confident when writing. I hold back a bit when I'm in public. I was the good cop to Ed the exes bad cop, he would complain in restaurants, and generally be too honest sometimes, whereas I'd be the voice of reason and calm matters down.

[PottyMummy via BritishMummyBloggers]

I think you've pretty much summed it up Linda - my blog personality is mostly me but maybe a bit more considered... (And oh, it's lovely to have the chance to go back and change things I decided I wish I hadn't said - wouldn't that be nice in real life!)

[Liz (LivingwithKids)]

Reading your blog posts made me want to get to know you as a person - if I wasn't interested, I wouldn't bother.
I think (hope) people get a good sense of me from my blog posts. I don't do ALL warts 'n' all but the voice in my posts is very much my voice - I would find it very difficult to write with another one.

[Amber]

Excellent post, Linda, and something I've wondered about as well. I do sometimes feel that my blog doesn't really give an accurate impression of me, purely because I write only about the things that happen in my life that I think (or hope) other people will find interesting or amusing, and not so much about the rest. I think sometimes this can create the impression that I'm a complete airhead who just rushes from one disaster to the next, but while that's partly the case, it's not the full story - for every post in which I lose yet another possession (which seems to have been the theme of my blog this year!)or find something to rant about there are lots and lots of days where I sit at my computer all day and absolutely nothing happens: it's just that I dont choose to write about those days because, well, they're not interesting.

I had a comment from someone this week, though, who said "This really hasn't been a good year for you," and I was completely taken aback, because actually, it's been a pretty good year all round. But this person had obviously been reading my blog and thinking that it presents a completely rounded view of my life, when it really doesn't. As unlikley as it may sound from someone with so many blogs, I'm actually quite a private person, and there are a lot of things I don't write about because, for me, they would be too personal, and would cross a line.

I also tone myself down a bit for the blog. In real life I'm even MORE ranty than I am online, but I don't want to scare all my readers away!

[Tara@Sticky Fingers]

Well I've met a few of these bloggers and they are JUST like their blog personna.
Jo Beaufoix is cheery, friendly and full of beans.
Single Parent Dad is slightly cheeky but absolutely lovely
Rosie Scribble is intelligent, chatty and with just a hink of cheeky.
Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy has such a dry wit and is a loads of fun.
Dulwich Divorcee is classy, friendly and a fabulous mum
All of which I think you would agree is their blogs all over.

The exception to this would be Littlemummy who, although she is indeed little, is far funnier and outgoing in real life (plus I insisted she change her profile pic as she looked 'mumsy' - in a nice way).
And Linda? Well. You are WAY funnier in real life. I don't think people realise quite how bloody hilarious you are. You need to show more of that side of you x

[Victoria]

I've been thinking about this recently because I've just told my mother about my blog *eek*, luckily she's been very complimentary, whether for diplomatic reasons or not, I don't know.

I think I'm more relaxed when I write than I am in public, apart from with the people closest to me. So in effect, on Twitter and my blog, I'm closer to the 'real' me than in everyday life. Someone I've known for a couple of years said to me the other day "I always used to think you were quite serious, but you're actually funny aren't you?" I took it as a compliment!

I think the best writers, and you are one of them Linda, give a real sense of their personality in their writing. I feel like I know you from reading your blog and tweets.

[Linda]

Phew-ee thank you everyone for commenting. I think that if anyone is lacking in confidence they should start a blog! There I am considering if I am 'real' enough and people take the time to tell me a) they love me b) they love my writing and c) I make them laugh. Jesus, this is better than therapy!

Amber - yes your experience is very interesting - like you I only blog about certain things and was curious to know what effect this has had.

I think I like it.

Good day.