'You've got your hands full'

Breaking the silence carnival of blog posts about mental illness

WHY a carnival about mental health?

I feel very strongly about mental health issues. I have suffered from what everyone always just called "black moods" now and again all my adult life. I didn't know what this meant and would just go to bed to let these fleeting feelings pass. But you can't do that when you are a mum or well, busy at work can you?

And then I got worse. I contemplated throwing myself out of the window, of deliberately crashing my car, telling myself I wasn't worthy of my family's love and that they would be better off without me. I was terrified of how my children would be affected by my mental illness.

My upbringing was to ignore, shun, dismiss or ridicule people who are mentally ill. I was told by family, friends and the media through news reporting and entertainment that those who "succumbed" to a mental illness were either weak, dangerous or just a bit odd. These people either deserved our pity or we should be scared of them. They didn't amount to much and if they were people in positions of trust, authority or power, then well they couldn't have been very good in their job, if they ended up cracking up.

BBC Coventry and Warwickshire radio interview about twins

A FEW weeks back I was interviewed by Mark Powlett on BBC Coventry and Warwickshire about twins.

Our chat touched on the following among other things and I hope you enjoy it:

• A unique bond between twins
• Sibling rivalry
• Do you dress twins the same?
• Should they be in the same class at school?
• How does a twin pregnancy compare to a singleton one?
• My crap maths

I know I sound a bit "eccentric" which is of course a polite way of saying well, a bit strange, but then I always do on the radio. I don't care as I've got used to it!

Press on the button below to hear the interview.

Massive thanks to producer Kate for sending me the MP3.

August Multiples Mayhem carnival is live, fancy hosting a future one?

   

Hurrah!

Not only does Heather have baby twins, she has also carried on the Multiples Mayhem carnival over on her fantastic blog, Young and Younger.

This is the second instalment of said carnival and I'm impressed beyond words that Heather has managed to pull the entries together and get it published -- as a similar effort on my part on our mental health blog has stalled.

Topics covered in this carnival include potty training, vegetable aversion, the naughty step and first year essentials.

If you've an idea for another post to add, please do add a link to Heather's post and if you would be interested in hosting a future carnival then please shout too!

 

Twins and secondary school

IN a few weeks' time, my daughters will start secondary school.

They are definitely in different classes and there's a chance they won't be in the same groups for subjects where pupils are streamed.

I like it that way.

At the introductory parents' evening, my girls' new teachers made encouraging noises about recognising that every child is an individual.

Did you know that according to experts, twins -- and triplets, quads and any "higher multiples" you care to mention for that matter -- are deserving of special consideration in the classroom?

A new life after twins by Sarah Edmonds

 
FOUR years ago, almost exactly, my son O entered the world, a beautiful, happy, gorgeous little boy. No wonder then that my husband and I were keen to ‘crack on’ with number two. Fifteen months after his birth and a three month scan revealed identical twin girls were to join our family.

To be completely honest, the first year of their life seemed to bring more lows than highs....exhaustion, loneliness, feelings of having no one to talk to who understood, frustration and generally of life being difficult. The phrase ‘popping out’ vanished, only to be replaced by ‘military operation’, or more commonly ‘failed operation’.

Everyday Stranger on the "fragility and darkness" of postnatal depression

SHANNON's blog Everyday Stranger, is a new find for me. It's filled with beautiful writing and photos and  captivating thoughts.

She's also shortlisted for a Best Writer award in The MADs, where her blog is described as a "glorious patchwork of stories."

Here, she shares with us her experience of depression and what I'd call a cautious optimism about life on the other side.

Thank you Shannon for sharing your story, which I'm also including at Breaking the Silence.

She writes:

MY twins are two years old now, hurtling towards three.

This morning our son decided to "caterpillar" across the floor with his Thomas the Tank Engine trains, and our daughter politely asked “Can I have a turn too please?” after her brother had a spin from his half-sister.

They sing, they hold my hands, the kiss me, they fill my days with light.

It hasn’t always been this way.

Multiple mayhem -- a carnival of posts about twins and more

PHEW. Thank you so much for all your support of this special week on You've Got Your Hands Full which has reminded me why I set this blog up in the first place and put me in touch with some fabulous blogs, some already familiar, others new to me.

If you can say one thing that unites all parents of multiples, well it's that they're busy.

Forgive me for stating the obvious. So I didn't know what to expect with my planned carnival. I've ended up with a dozen or so entries and so I'm delighted.

In all honesty this was very short notice so if anyone wants to make this a more regular feature, with us taking turns to host a monthly carnival, then please shout up and we can kick off an on-going Multiples Mayhem carnival?

The guest posts this week and the carnival entries have made me laugh and made me cry. I hope our small but perfectly formed carnival informs and entertains. 

The loss of a twin by Emily Carlisle

AS a mum and a journalist, overuse of the words "every parent's nightmare" are bound to wind me up. Every parent's nightmare is not that they can't afford the latest trainers or worry over whether their little girl should have a mobile phone. Every parent's nightmare is quite simply that they should lose their precious child. Here, in the latest guest post for our Twins, Triplets & More week, the amazing blogger More than Just a Mother shares what that nightmare is really like.

I have read this post with tears running down my face and would like to say a massive thank you to Emily for sharing her story. She describes how she wishes she had been able to 'open up'' more and I hope by the simple act of doing that here, other parents searching for help in their darkest hour may find some and know at least, they are not alone.

FROM mythical Romulus and Remus to pop-duo The Cheeky Girls, the world is fascinated by twins and their unique bond. 

Parenting twins is hard work but an incredibly rewarding experience. 

Mothers of multiples, such as Julia Roberts and Angelina Jolie, are part of an elite club many women would love to join.  But what happens when you are unceremoniously thrown out of that club?  When celebrations for the birth of your newborn are overshadowed by the funeral of their sibling? 

Twenty-six weeks into my twin pregnancy my waters broke and I was admitted to hospital.  The babies held on until the milestone marker of 28 weeks. 

Having twins? Relax and enjoy it by Young Mummy

Photo by Pat Austin on Flickr.

THANKS to the awesome Young Mummy for our latest guest post all about the trials and tribulations of having twins. Her post has made me smile -- I' definitely became a chilled out mum as soon as was humanly possible after having my girls. There just weren't enough hours in the day to be anything else!

MY mum commented the other day that I’m more like a second-time mum, rather than the first-time mum I really am, writes Young Mummy.

She doesn’t mean I’m some kind of parenting genius, just that I’m quite laid-back as a mother. And she puts this down to having twins.

Rosie Scribble and LivingwithKids welcome Twins, Triplets & More blog tour

THANKS to Rosie Scribble for letting me set up my stall today where I focus on a mum of twins and her story of post natal depression. I hope by spreading the word about the new free/subsidised help on offer from Tamba, word can reach those expectant mums who could most benefit so they can learn that support is out there.

Thanks also to Liz at LivingwithKids who published a guest post from me yesterday, with some facts and figures about twins. I know when I was expecting, I had my eyes opened and a "learning curve" has continued ever since.

Coming tomorrow is another pit-stop in the "tour" and a guest post here from the brilliant Fourdownmumtogo.